How to Actually Find Motivation

Let’s be honest for a second.

If motivation were easy, none of us would be googling “how to find motivation” while laying in bed at 2pm, staring at the ceiling, feeling guilty for not doing the thing we swore we’d do today.

And yet… here we are.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. And you’re not “bad at discipline.”
You’re just human — living in a world that asks a lot of you, all the time.

This post is inspired by a video that completely reframed how I think about motivation. Not in a “grind harder” way, but in a “wait… maybe I’m not failing, maybe my brain is just trying to protect me” way.

So let’s talk about motivation — what it actually is, why it disappears, and how to get it back without forcing yourself into burnout or self-loathing.

Grab a drink and get comfy. Let’s unpack this together.

First Things First: You’re Not Unmotivated — You’re Protected

Here’s the biggest mindset shift that changes everything:

When you feel unmotivated, your brain isn’t sabotaging you.
It’s trying to keep you safe.

Your brain’s #1 job is survival, not self-actualization. It wants comfort. Familiarity. Predictability. So anytime you want to do something that involves:

• change
• uncertainty
• vulnerability
• potential failure
• being seen

Your brain goes:
“Hmm… that feels risky – or hard. Let’s not.”

And suddenly you feel:

• stuck
• tired
• overwhelmed
• “meh” about goals you know you care about

That’s not laziness. That’s protection mode.

Once you understand this, motivation stops being a moral issue and starts being a conversation with yourself.

---

Why Comfort Is Quietly Killing Your Motivation

Comfort isn’t bad. We need rest and safety.

But staying comfortable all the time slowly shrinks your world.

Think about it:

• You want to start something new → it feels scary → you scroll instead
• You want to improve your life → it feels overwhelming → you put it off
• You want more fulfillment → but the couch is easier

Comfort says, “Stay here. Don’t risk disappointment.”

But growth only happens outside that zone.

Motivation doesn’t come before action — it comes after you choose discomfort in small, manageable ways.

That’s the secret nobody tells you.

---

Step 1: Stop Calling Yourself Lazy (Like, Immediately)

Real talk: the way you talk to yourself matters more than any productivity hack.

If your inner dialogue is:

• “Why can’t I just get it together?”
• “I’m so behind.”
• “Everyone else can do this but me.”

Your brain hears danger. And when it hears danger, it shuts down motivation even harder.

Instead, try this reframe:

“I want this, and I’m scared. That makes sense.”

That single sentence removes shame and replaces it with understanding — which creates space for action.

✨ Actionable step:
The next time you avoid something, write down:

• What I want to do:
• What I’m afraid might happen:
• What’s the smallest version of this I could try today?

Not tomorrow. Today.

---

Step 2: Shrink the Goal Until It Feels Almost Too Easy

Your brain hates vague, massive goals.

“Get healthy.”
“Start my dream life.”
“Fix everything.”

No wonder motivation disappears — your brain doesn’t know where to start.

Instead, motivation grows when goals feel:

• specific
• low-pressure
• achievable

✨ Actionable examples:

• Instead of “work out more” → “take a 10-minute walk”
• Instead of “blog more” → “open the doc and write a blog post”
• Instead of “fix my life” → “drink water and make my bed”

Tiny wins tell your brain:
“Oh. This is safe. We can do this.”
It builds motivation.

---

Step 3: Learn to Do Things While Scared

This part is big.

Waiting to feel confident before taking action is a trap.

Confidence is a result — not a prerequisite.

You don’t get confident and then act.
You act, survive it, and then confidence follows.

I wasn’t confident when I started this blog. I’m still not confident sometimes. But I did it anyway, and I’m so glad I did.

✨ Actionable mindset shift:
Replace:

“I’ll do it when I feel ready.”

With:

“I’ll do it scared, and I’ll support myself either way.”

You don’t need fear to disappear. You just need to stop letting it drive.

---

Step 4: Reframe Failure (Because You’re Not Doing It Wrong)

Most people lose motivation because they secretly believe:
“If I fail, it means I shouldn’t try again.”

But failure isn’t proof of incapability — it’s information.

Every “failed” attempt tells you:

• What doesn’t work
• What needs adjusting
• What you’ve already survived

✨ Actionable reframe:
After something doesn’t go as planned, write:

• What did I learn?
• What would I do differently next time?
• What did go right?

You’re not starting over. You’re starting informed.

---

Step 5: Connect Your Actions to Meaning (Not Just Outcomes)

Motivation that relies only on results (money, weight loss, numbers) is fragile.

Real motivation sticks when it’s connected to:

• values
• identity
• how you want to feel

✨ Actionable journaling prompt:
Ask yourself:

• Why does this matter to me?
• Who do I become by showing up for this?
• How will future-me thank me?

You don’t need motivation to be constant. You need it to be anchored.

---

Step 6: Practice Self-Compassion Without Letting Yourself Quit

This part is also super important.

Self-compassion doesn’t mean giving up.
It means:

• encouraging yourself instead of shaming
• resting without spiraling
• adjusting without abandoning

You can be gentle and committed.

✨ Actionable self-talk swap:
Instead of:

“I messed up. What’s wrong with me?”

Try:

“Okay. That didn’t go how I wanted. What’s my next kind step?”

Kindness builds momentum. Shame kills it.

---

Final Truth: Motivation Is Built, Not Found

Motivation isn’t a lightning bolt.

It’s built through:

• small brave actions
• self-trust
• choosing meaning over comfort (sometimes)
• letting yourself be human the whole way through

You don’t need to overhaul your life.
You don’t need a perfect routine.
And you don’t need to be fearless.

You just need to take one small step, support yourself through it, and repeat.

And, girl?
You’re already doing better than you think. 💛

---

What’s one small thing you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t felt ready for yet?